awkward momment

babe i didnt know how myself work up as i felt i am such an awkward person , i don noe how myself filter out ins and outs when i do get to be a moody person lately ,

yes finally i found when i got so extremely jelous when i was reading out the status ,not one but many status in FB , u noe , nowdays ,JPA n MARA , had already nicely announced about the offering excellent student for the student placement ,for doing A-level or much more easier preparation continuing study at abroad ;(

well the huge congratulation to them , but i don noe wha happen to me ,when i felt im sooo totally upset when im not the one who listed to be there ;'( , i wish there's some way of showing me a gratitude ,plz YA Allah , i don want tobe such have a feeling like this , i noe U'll become mad at me when im not being a grateful to what had You give to me , i actually supposed to realized what the appropriate level for me, i shouldnt not to feel like this way coz i noe ,there's might be chances or opportunities out there , but the only me have to strive more to gain what i want n what i dream on .

perhaps ,im too hoping before this where i wish everyday i'll be chosen one day but i failed finally ;(

plz plz ,i hope these'll never be overwhelm me at all , i had to search more reasons why do Allah plan me as now i am ,

plus ,i miss siti farhanah damn ;'( how's she today ?